How to Have Sex Outdoors
No Fun: On the Beach
Rolling around on the soft shore, the cool waves lapping at your ankles -- yeah, sounds good in theory. That is until your body-part-we-can't-write feels like it just got a good exfoliating, and your knees and elbows are all rug-burned.
Home Run: The Lifeguard Stand
The ocean views and ambience are what makes sex on the beach so spectacular. Just move to higher ground where you get all the benefits of the beach, without the scratchy sand.
No Fun: A Pool or Hot Tub
Thanks to The Jersey Shore, The Real World, and really, every reality show on cable, hot tubs are thought to be the perfect steamy spot for sex. Oh, but it ain't! Not only is the water a cesspool for bacteria, but it actually dries out your natural lubrication too, making the deed pretty painful.
Home Run: On a Boat or Raft
Water is super-sensual and especially soothing on a hot summer night. Instead of taking an actual dip though, float above by having sex in a boat or a sturdy raft out on a quiet lake.
No Fun: In the Woods
Sneaking off-trail on a hike, you're likely to find a secluded area for X-rated action. Problem is, you might also rub against random plants (hello, poison oak!) and insects eager for a snack. Bug bites on your bum or, gulp, even worse? No, thank you.
Home Run: A Farmer's Field
On a late night, sneak out to a secluded farmer's field with a blanket, nestle yourselves in a hidden spot among the crops, and indulge in sex under the stars.