8 Things You Can’t Do Once You Have a Baby

woman walking with toddler
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  1. Wear white

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    Seriously, just move those white jeans and cute white tanks to the back of your closet right now. And the off-white dress pants? Forget it. Cream, taupe, ivory -- they're all off-limits too. Start stocking up on what been-there moms refer to as spit-up camouflage: dark clothes and patterns.

  2. Close out the bar

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    It will be like you're undergoing happy hour hypnosis therapy for the first six weeks. You won't even miss the quick drink with a friend at first. But once you settle into your routine and you can find time for a night out...you will never hear the words "last call" again. At least not for a very long time.

  3. Use the bathroom in peace

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    Everything from shower time to a quick pee will be compromised. So take a few long, luxurious baths; spend some toilet time with your favorite magazines; and basically treat your bathroom like a relaxing spa while you still can.

  4. Zone out to a Real Housewives marathon

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    There's nothing like a long, lazy weekend afternoon where you order food, sit on the couch and pamper yourself with bad TV. But when baby arrives, there's no way you'll be able to watch even two shows in a row. You'll be lucky if you and your husband don't nod off during the first commercial break of 30 Rock. Sorry, but it's true.

  5. Enjoy getting out the door quickly

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    Are you a roll-out-of-bed-and-go girl? A baby will change all that. Between packing up the diapers and travel changing pad, fixing bottles (and later Goldfish snack bags) and making sure that teething rings and binkies are all in place, you'll have to add at least half an hour to your leave-the-house routine. And that's assuming no projectile vomit -- or worse, diarrhea -- get in the way.

  6. Read anything with chapters

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    Sitting down to concentrate on an intricate story with lots of words will be a thing of the past. Many moms get hooked on magazines.

  7. Finish a phone conversation

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    Once you have kids, uninterrupted catch-up convos will become a distant memory. On the bright side, maybe you'll be able to reduce your phone plan minutes.

  8. Watch The Daily Show at its regular time

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    11p.m.? This will be long past your bedtime -- or in between feedings. Sorry, Jon Stewart!