13 Ways You’re Screwing Up Your Relationship

  1. You’re too tired for sex

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    You’re tye-tye. We hear ya. Although, your eyes were wide openthrough that Real Housewives marathon last night. Right? Here’s an idea: How about some lazy, low-energy sex? For real. You might be surprised at how much fun it is. An even bigger surprise? There’s evidence that a good old-fashioned shag improves sleep!
  2. You keep financial secrets

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    Relax; he may not need to know the price of every pair of shoes. But if you have secret credit card debt or a rotten FICO score, it’s time to tell on yourself. A recent poll said that nearly one in three American couples with combined finances admitted to so-called financial infidelity (that is, lying about money). Yikes! By being an open book now, it will be easier to stay honest down the road.

  3. You talk all business -- no pleasure

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    With two busy lives, it’s easy for couples to fall into a conversation vortex. Between “What’s for dinner?” and “Did you pay the cable bill?” you can go days without just…shooting the breeze. Think about the chats you had when you were first dating (that is, dreams and goals, not groceries and dog walks) and strike up one of those.

  4. You can’t get enough togetherness

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    Sure, most people prefer to floss on their lonesome but not you. You’re a “more is more” gal. Kidding aside -- if you’ve been buried in your relationship 24/7, you’ve probably been neglecting important things like friendships, hobbies and well…yourself. Time to tap back into some of the things that made your life awesome before. Trust us; your relationship will benefit.
  5. You talk smack about his family

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    Does it help to hear you’re not alone? In-laws bug. The end. That said, even if they are daytime-talk-show material, it’s time to zip that lip. Complain to your besty, complain to your shrink, but don’t complain to your man. Even if he agrees with every word you say, it’s bound to cause stress and strife.

  6. You think you’re too cool for date night

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    Think a preplanned date night is a shortcut to loserville? Riddle me this, hipster, when’s the last time you and your honey had a truly great date? M-kay…we get it, you crave spontaneity and think planning isn’t sexy. But here’s a thought, once you’re actually on one, all you’ll notice is how much fun you are having being out (or in). We doubt you’ll care if it was booked a month in advance.

  7. Your sex life is super routine

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    Here’s how it happens: You know he melts when you do that thing, so you do that thing. Every. Single. Time. Zzzzz. News flash: variety is the spice of life. Try mixing it up just a little. Toss in something unexpected: Wear high heels to bed or initiate a nooner. A good 98% of Nest.com respondents say they keep it in the bedroom. So maybe…relocate a smidge? Small effort, big payoff, we swear.
  8. You fight dirty

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    Let’s be real. Everyone argues. Okay, fights. But some couples know how to do it sans damage. If you’re guilty of hitting below the belt (think: name calling or plate throwing), it’s time to cut it out. Starting to see red? Take a time-out. Go for a long walk, clear your head, and come back when you’re calm. Still can’t tame your temper? Loop in a pro -- a marriage and relationship counselor can teach you to fight right.

  9. You keep score

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    If you mentally tally each of your partner’s infractions (texting through dinner -- check balled-up socks on floor -- check), it’s time to ask yourself why. The truth? You’re actually planning your next fight…in advance! Drop the scorecard. You and your man are on the same team, remember? So huddle up.

  10. You expect him to read your mind

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    You want something (think: a romantic weekend away) and are peeved that your dude hasn’t guessed what that something is. The rub: Unless he stares into a crystal ball for a living, you might want to get real and give him a clue. There’s no shame in being honest about what you want. What’s more, asking for something dramatically ups the odds that you’ll get it.
  11. Your self-care has…um, slipped

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    Those sweats? Crusty. Your legs? Stubbly. Your butt…let’s just say there’s more of it to love than when you were single. You’ve gotten comfy and complacent (the real terrible twos!). Tip: taking care of yourself the way you used to will reconnect you with your best self. ’Member her? She’s the one who kicked ass and got the guy. Don’t bench her just yet.

  12. You drown him in advice

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    In an informal poll (cough, we asked our husbands, cough), guys unanimously said they wish we’d just listen more. Turns out, men need to vent their probs, just like we do. Which isn’t to say they want to hear solutions the second they pause for breath. In fact, sometimes (aka usually) they’d prefer a friendly “wow, that sucks, babe” over your three-pronged fix-it plan.
  13. You put your relationship last

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    You have awesome intentions; no, really, you do. You’d love more one-on-one with your honey. You think about romantic dinners or weekend getaways -- but life always intervenes. Time to stop hoping and start doing. Pick up the phone and snag a res for his favorite steak house -- or take a sick day to spend between the sheets. Do something that shows where your priorities really lie.